Based on Ukraine 2016
The swimmers are coming
They come for your eggs
And mess up your hormones
Deep in your guts
An unwanted race
When one finds the egg
The rest of them dies
Before you will know
Morning sickness, swelling ankles
Brand new stretch marks, diaper samples
Oh oh oh oh no
Clothes won’t fit you, constipation
You once had a future
Slim, single and free
But now your size
Grasping for hope
The kid might be nice
You think you will sleep?
No, everyone cries!
So strengthen yourself
Late at night, a blunt awakening
Suddenly the water’s breaking
Gah gah gah gah gah!
Call a night cab, not too bumpy
Then the pain, like shitting pumpkins
(Push and breathe, the head is crowning!)
Damn you, nature! Bring me morphine!
(One more push, and here’s your baby)
Come and meet your first born, Sergey