My Children Are Coming For Me

Based on Avanti la vie (Belgium 1984)

My children are coming for me
To put me away in a home
They say that I’ve grown way too old
To live in this house all alone

My children are coming for me
To take me away there tonight
They say that I’ve turned ninety-three
But I’m sure I’m just eighty-nine!

My mind is sharp
At least some moments
There’s even things
I don’t forget

My children are coming for me
I hear them approaching the door
But I jammed the lock, ate the key
And covered the stairway with soap

(We’re coming, we’re coming for you)
I don’t want to go!
(To put you away in a home)
Ungrateful rascals, get lost!
(Where people can help you to pee)
I don’t need to pee!
(A give you a bath with a sponge)

I want my gin
Not wrinkly spinsters
Or games of bridge
Who’s at the door?

My children are coming for me
They’re carrying me to the car
I’m kicking their balls and I scream
I’m not giving up without fight

(We’re taking, we’re taking you now)
You’re out of my will!
(Be careful, you might break your arm)
Bet you would like that, you imps!
(We’ll visit you every third week)

I guess I will die in a home