Based on Estonia 1997
Look at our innocent faces
Can’t you see how you’ve made us feel sad?
Lovely Estonian ladies made out to be sluts
And dirty cheap slags
You made us sound rude
In posts on YouTube
Why can’t you resist?
We’re sick of your mocking, you’re taking the piss
Our fine lyrics all go to waste
‘Cos Europe thinks they’re in poor taste
This author’s one more sad hater
He’ll twist all my words to something sexual
He hides rude words like “vibrator”
Somewhere in my song
Or often “anal”
You’ll think I’m risqué
But I’m insipid
Don’t vote for this shit
This arsehole can’t even write titles that fit
This lyric’s a fucking disgrace
I hope it ends up in last place
Our language is hot – it’s so hard!
There are no ‘ljubavs’, just long breathless vowels
(Estonian misheard, when will they desist?)
Yet more clichés!
(We’re sick of them mocking and taking the piss)
(So if you should hear a text that sounds
weird or absurd)
It might be Estonian misheard
[ad lib sex noises to finish]