ALC2015: The reprise of this year’s runner up Esker!

Cloud (Number) Nine
Based on mostly My Number One (Greece 2005) with help from some friends

[Stage is spookily lit]

Esker sits by the Projection Screen, largely concealed in shadow

[Screen on turns on, we see]

Two Monsters enjoying
an expertly-prepared,
well-uncooked meal

[View pans back]

in Tim’s Sushi Bar & Lyric Restaurant

[View pans further back]

Somewhere in Europe

[View floats through Clouds, to reveal]

on the Planet of Blue…

[View zooms through space until we see]


Sweetly Singing…

Though I’ve gone I’m not alone – Stop
With your voice I carry on – Stop
Shining brightly, did you here me call?
What can I do on my Coldward trawl?
Gotta send a lyrical telegram to my BlueOne
Yes, I gotta ask a messageboard,
Messageboard to help, knowing
You won’t disappoint me
Though I may be on my way,
I hear you…what lyrical flair!
Tell me please, what have you been doing there?

[The image of Halley fades]

[Stage left: The backing vocalists, Michèle, Marcos and Sigga & Sigrún enter]

[Screen begins showing gif of LDavidC, Spain’s premier Air guitarist]

[Spotlights turn on]

Esker is only partially revealed, wearing a overly large Stetson
I will admit, I made a mess
Guess what I said when it was done?
Well, ¡Ay, Caramba!
While I did accept the infamy
Began to think “should I go…
Lurk off forever?”
For long I…agonised
To live a life divorced from all the A.L.C. fun?!
No, not for Esker!!!
So I set about to humperdinck
The greatest lyrics I could think…

(appreciative audience reaction to)

Projection Screen:

[Air Guitarist Scene dissolves to show Ms. David’s Latest Lecture…]

Noctilucent versus Polar Stratospheric Cloudforms:
Toward a Single Unified Account

(un)Fortunately the audio is muted

…as Esker throws the Stetson into the Audience

[Full stage lights reveal]

Backing vocalists dressed as Cirrus uncinus clouds…

…and Esker bounding forward in an Alteria costume (Thanks, Yami!)

I was Cowgirl
But no longer
Soz I couldn’t find a funny rhyme for Cowgirl

Here I’m standing
Adorbz, fluffy
Looking so much cuter than the Cadb’ry’s Bunné

Please indulge me
And to thank you
Click on this hyperlink and you won’t regret it

What’s the mystery?
First in history
Cowgirl to 1st place, but you did assist me

I can’t believe
I’m one number one
The lyric contest I did not win
Oh it is fun!
I’m your number one
You have raised me up! Where to? Cloud number nine!

I wrote lyrics
You wrote lyrics
And I’ve…tacksamet for all of my AL fav’rites

{Dance interlude}

Backing singers perform
an ethnic dance piece called:

[Screen shows Esker’s most favourite ALs]

(in random order)

from Semi 1

A Messageboard Like This by TenT

Gloria by ESCFan2014

One and One and One is Three by moshe

Holiday by ThomNL

The Story of a Lyricist by Holger

Ett slags plagiat by Michèle (feat. Esker)

from Semi 2

Jurassic Park (We have Spoilers) by Harrow

#HobbyToUnwindPart2 by Yami

The feelings of Thai people by ESCFan2014

Think by nacs

Confessions of a lazy Housewife by Dimivision

Ms. David Lectures Hipsters by moshe

from Semi 3

This Last Night by nacs

The Interrupting Bettina Soriat by Harrow

Bad Hair Days by Thomas (with apologies to Jürgen)

Quebecois Oven by Phutty

How I Wish That I Had A Thigh Gap by moshe

Monday by Dimivision

This section is overrunning
compared to the Dress Rehearsal

{Michèle and Marcos tiring, but Sigga & Sigrún still going strong}

from The Final

Grammar Warrior by Phutty

Left Neglected by Timoteus

Gifts for Pep Guardiola by KeithyKat

All Kinds of Deadly Sins by Sebastian

Den by Jonas

Handwashing by Carly&Rich

Turf War by Tim, fromLondon

Cockney Lady by KeithyKat

A Hipster Like Me by Jonas

Alternative Beauty Contest by Sebastian

She Ate it by Jonas

Our Secret Is Out by Sigga & Sigrún (feat. Esker)

Not Those “Why-ai-ai-ai”-s by ThomNL


Summer Is Over by Sebastian

Hell by Timoteus

The Juggler by Yami

Westeros by Dimivision

10K Run by Tim, fromLondon

Leprosy by Phutty

Monster Ballad by Carly&Rich
(Worthy winners!)

Facebook Gender Options by Thomas

OMG Bulgarians Are Coming! by Tim, fromLondon

Halley’s Reply by Halley (feat. Esker)

Sorry Dimi
Hard luck really
Embrace Cowgirl-ness! Next year, you’ll end much higher

Lyric mission…
…Our addiction
Shame it rarely scores that well with science fiction

I saw Halley
I explained the…
…Eurovision Song Contest and now he’s happy!

And Michèle, she…
Now believes me
There is room in life for ev’ry pla-gi-at…oui!

How can it be?
You’ve all given me
A unique treasure I’ll cherish so

I float upon
That cloud…number nine
I know this is true: it’s not about a win

Yes we love it
And enjoy it
It’s A Lyric Contest that we’ve co-created

{ brief(er) Dance interlude}

[Enter from Stage Left and Stage Right]

Ms. David and Bettina

who together perform
a specially choreographed ethnic dance piece entitled:
It’s Nearly Finished Now

[Meanwhile Screen changes to show]

Non-participating Voters in the Green Room

(Thank you, Martin and Andy!)

[Screen switches: we see some audience members and
some empty seats spotlighted]

(for all former ALC contestants – we miss you, come back soon!)

(and if you haven’t played ALC before. Go on, join us next year!)

[From Stage Right]

Our awesome organiser Pollé is reluctantly dragged on-stage

(Take your bow!)

[Screen begins showing Cosmic Closing Sequence]

“From HomeStar to ColdBelt and Beyond”

Sing about clouds…
…Now you are allowed
The cutest secret we’ve ever seen

I thank you all
I’m so happy too

Nothing left to do but close the A.L.C.

Rich & Carly
Reprise…soon please

For our lyric passion that is like no other!