Care For A Dance, Milady?

‘Sincerest apologies that it’s based on UK 2015’




I…don’t mean to be awkward
Or seem a bit forward
My name’s Lee and I hope to be
The kind of boy you might enjoy

I don’t have the graces
Your station embraces
I despise when I’m tongue-tied
I guess I fancy you

Now it’s 1920
I’m liking you plenty
Oh you drive the Bentley!
My father, though, he’ll say “No, no!”

You must give up, Lee
There can’t be an ‘us’, see
You’re downstairs while I’m upstairs
There’ll be no love, it’s true

May I appeal your verdict, dear
You be assured to have no fear
For I am kind, my thoughts benign
Please take this chance: let’s have a dance, well?

Don’t wanna sound awful
But yo momma makes waffles
Though I admit that you’re quite fit
I don’t know what to do

(Let’s dance, dance)

(Da-da da-da-da-dance)

Arms: Flap ’em way up high
Rotate ’em left and right
Feet: flick ’em to your thigh
And swivel please, with expertise

Seems so complicated
Isn’t it X-rated?
You seem obsessed! May I request
You show me what to do

Oh yes!

— Lee shows off some of his Charleston moves —

(Everybody dance, everybody dance)

(Everybody dance)

(Everybody dance, everybody dance)

— and attempts to express the depth of his feelings —

Ding-a-dong Yamma Diggy-loo
Boum-Badaboum Boogaloo
Ring-dinge-ring La, la, la

Sounding odd, really

Sanomi O Julissi
Rimi ley Amambanda Boom boom
Nanana Da da dam
Uh-Oh. E.B.U.

You can stop now, please Lee

Can I discuss your need for thrusting?
Is this how your pelvis must be?
Now you want some chicken walks?!

I can’t endure this for much more, no!

Please don’t be so cautious
This dance won’t be nauseous
Move your bod like no one’s there

It takes some practice too


You’ll have a fun time


And drink up some moonshine!

(Let’s dance)

— Milady succumbs and joins in —

Come on toots let’s start now
To jump and jive just me and you

(Everybody dance)

Although your charm’s working

(Everybody dance)

No! I won’t be twerking!
Though seeing, dear, that dad’s not near
Shall we make whoopee too?

Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, woo-hoo!

We love the Charleston too