A Public Service Announcement on behalf of the Pork Marketing Board

Based on Denmark 1958 – Jeg rev et blad ud af min dagbog

Shopping this week, you really ought to bulk-buy
Tasty white meat our porcine donors provide
You’ve no need of salmon or goose or horse
Not to mention food that’s labelled ‘raw’

Vegan? What rot! Not after pork chops
Try some tonight sautéed in cream (with carrots)
Everything tastes better with pork chops
’Cept Brussels sprouts. They’re still a no

True, little morsels may get stuck between your teeth
Leading to tooth decay, but that’s why we have dentists

No, you can’t top delicious pork chops
Have a slice of pig, my friend

Birds from the sky aren’t even worth a first look
Fish of the sea will snare you with their own hooks
Please don’t give me chicken or veal or lamb
They don’t hold a candle to some ham

Kosher or not, you’ll love my pork chops
So what if they’re not quite kashrut? Who cares
Allah says nay? Not to my pork chops
His secret love is cloven hoof

Pork, eaten every day, will put hairs on your chest
Which is unfortunate for women who hate Nair, but…

I just can’t stop wolfing down pork chops
Have a slice of pig, my friend
Have a slice of pig, my friend