Based on Amazing (Estonia 2014)
A deal for all eternity!
Don’t miss this, guys and gals, it’s heavenly,
….But it won’t last!
We slashed the price, come take our tour.
We consecrate and bless new homes for
As soon as you die,
Reserve your own place, right next to God.
Buy our condo dwelling!
SALE! For afterlife! (Most angelic living!)
SALE! For when you die! (In our saintly building!)
In hell it’s crowded and the rent’s too high,
Their furnace broken, and the A/C’s fried.
SALE! For afterlife!
You like a perfectly cloudless view?
And floor plans by divine construction crews,
….Led by Jesus?
So if you’d like to make a deal,
Here are official terms of our equity
Repent for your lies,
Don’t covet that ass, and give up crack.
And those lustful feelings.
SALE! For afterlife! (Did I mention stealing?)
SALE! For when you die! (Better practice kneeling!)
A lofty loft equipped with new satellites.
We don’t show porn but we’ve got angel fights.
SALE! Place bets online!
It’s time to decide.
St. Pete’s on the phone to clear your loan.
….Now, your name is….?
SALE? No, you’re denied! (You have failed our screening.)
SALE? It’s not your time! (You should go on living.)
Wait in Limbo ‘til your hellhole’s assigned.
Or just convert, Mr. Rubenstein.
SALE! For all gentiles!