I demand a recount

Based on: Romania 2015, De la cap─ât

Couldn’t be more talented, you make vids so wonderful
No one can make, even not Dan.
You can make moussakas like only angels from above
But there’s one thing you can not do, see: count.

And that’s why I demand a recount
How, right on your watch, this occurred?
You have me as the winner, wowzers
Such a deep mistake, how rude

Are you sure you’re Asian? You really suck at maths
Belgian education is worse than South Sudan’s
Any imbecile could add some votes together, so Paul,
So Paul, go back and recount it
Buy a calculator, no abacus is sold
Find a teacher, rather, who teaches six-year-olds
Just the real whole numbers, not things like three point forty-four
So Paul, go back and recount it

(“my teacher knows a great technique..”)

I’m not really asking for Isis Gee to wolf down pork
Nor for a chair or our v0w3ls b4ck.
Want no flap rides – vag is eww. Want no just-expired skyr
Don’t need a housewife, jihad or chai tea.

My request is so pure and humble:
Take some carrots, apples too.
Hold a pair, and another – they’ve doubled
Congrats, you’ve done a two-plus-two.

Maybe you’re pretending, perhaps you’re rather smart
Thought you’d act the dumb fool, and get away with that
Have you doped the people? Nitrous oxide needles? So Paul,
So Paul, I got you, recount now.
Winning Frizzle Sizzle? What rot, we must be mocked
I can hear you *whistle*, a con man like Huug Kok
Do you think it’s legal? More than killing Siegel? So Paul,
Get on your arse and recount it (Pau-au-au-aul.. Pau-au-au-aul..)
Or I will call the police now (ca-a-a-all.. ca-a-a-all..)
They’ll get an investigator (so-o-o-olve.. so-o-o-olve..)
She’ll lock you in a confinement (sma-a-a-all)
And have a strong cappuccino.