Redesigning The Atlas

Based on The Netherlands 1998

Summer jobbin’ at Dutch Cartographic Institute
It seemed like quite the perfect job, before I knew the truth
Here I am in charge of keeping map books up to date
But every time I finish, this damn world decides to change

Now suddenly Dutch Antilles
Are a former state
Crimea’s snatched by Russia
Border dispute – check!
South Sudanese independence
No, it never stops
I have to start all over
Oh, what the hell

Redesigning the Atlas… hmm…

Every day the news talk about earthquakes, wars and storms
Sorry for their loss, but what about my break for lunch?
(What about her lunch?)
Reports are piling up ‘bout brand new capitals and lakes
‘Cause every time I think I’m done, there’s more stuff thrown my way

Scotland announce independence
Cyprus conquers Chad
A brand new land formation
Somewhere by Taiwan
Armenian annexation of Mount Ararat
That’s why I’m never finished
It’s such a mess
Redesigning the Atlas…

(Then Norway donates a mountain)
To the Finnish side
(The ocean rose two inches)
Oh, goodbye Tokelau!
Then Turkish re-annexation of Mount Ararat
It’s such a nuisance
No thanks, I’m out of here!

(Update the Atlas)
No oh oh oh oh oh oh
(Update the Atlas)
Noo oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
(Polar ice melting)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh no!
(Netherlands’ shrinking)

(Atlantic breach by the floodgates)
(No) more Afsluitdijk?
(The IJsselmeer is rising)
Oh… crushing Lelystad
(The Hague is lost underwater)
Lost underwater!
(Utrecht’s gone, ‘and now)
The isle of Urk is all that remains, oh dear!
Oh, I’m…

Redesigning the Atlas