Killer Vaginas

Based on Sweden 1985

It was a shock at the first glance
I saw the news by chance
When I read the paper
A boy I’d met on New Year’s Eve
In 1983
Was right there in the obit

Laid me down
Told me that he loved me so
Entered me
It felt great

He was my third ever lover
Short but sweet
He was my man, me his queen
We had a brief affair
But when the summer was over
His strict father made him move away
And so what might have been, could not be
Bye number 3…

(Boo hoo, boo hoo)

Though Ola-Björn had had his charm
I had not been alarmed, by the news so tragic
But I’ll admit that even then
my trip down mem’ry lane, had got me all nostalgic

Made a plan
To track down
Number 1 and Number 2
Checked the book
And called up
Per and Pål

They were the boys round the corner
From my house
I’d had a thing for twins
And they a thing for me
But when I dialled in their number
I was told they don’t live there anymore
And in truth, they don’t live anymore
The twins are dead

I rushed across the street to find my old friend Lars
As he had been my number 4
He walked out of his house and gave me a big wave
Then was mowed down by a car! (by! a! car!)

I have a killer vagina
It must be, although my hands are clean
My vulva is guilty

As for the fifth guy on the list
No worries, as Torbjörn married me
And his life policy is quite large
My plan should work!