Die, Wasps, Die!

Based on Romania 2010

(A couple look forlornly around their garden)
Picnics under the tree turn into a hopeless fight
Summer’s ruined for me at the evil stripy sight
Watermelon, fizzy pop…
No more! That’s their lot
Say your yellow prayers – cos we are taking you down

There are three on the brie! Let’s kill them with fire
Aerosol, matches, glee – that’s all we require
Oh, cocks! Now the wasps are burning with ire
Time to flee… Fry the C’s while we’re running away

One… flame-sizzle-squeal-pop
Two… flame-sizzle-squeal-pop
Three… flame-sizzle-squeal-pop

Torch them good though that might, it is time to up the fight
Nest, there, over the door…
I’ll go left and you go right
No ceasefire till they drop… 
Oh boy, I can’t stop
Shredded yellow peril now, we’re taking you down

Evil C’s! How d’you like that barrage of fire?
All gone now, all we see’s a funeral pyre
Oh, cocks! Half the wasps have effin’ survived! Argh!
Mightily peeved, it seems. Best start running away!

Aargh! Oh no, oh no, oh…
Aargh! Oh no, no! No, no…
Aargh! Oh no, no! No! NO!

(Chased around the garden and into the conservatory,
she lets out a piercing scream that shatters the glass)

Nest, you see, in the tree? No time to recover
Action. Now. Can’t believe they’re building another
Hard luck – to their shock they’ll shortly discover
Flaming green death machine. Tired of running away…

Time that we played it mean: deploy the bazooka
Yellow, black, all go splat, incendiary snooker
Wait! What? They’re not wasps! They’re bigger and smoother (bigger, smoother)
Nesting in next door’s eaves. No use flying away! (Fly-fly-fly-fly-flyin’)

Bring. It. Oooooon…
Bring. It. Oooo- … Oops.

Neighbour had a hornet’s nest.

We burnt his place down :/